Either OR

OH WHAT DID WOUD DO IF SOMEBODY ASK’S YOU

WOULD YOU LIKE MAKINTOSH+WHICH YOU DESPERATELY WOULD LIKE TO HAVE?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw&ob=av2e

It is very embarrassing situation but when did you want Toshiba Satellite computer is somebody rather would like to have it black real pearl from Mikimoto ;Japanese famous pearls..If I am right to say that “I would desperately like to have itToshiba”/the rules of the Bible says that you should have to told the truth, the same thing - says Kant. Yes I would like to have it Toshiba lap top, my second alter ego! Why not? It is like in song:”Oh God will you bay me Mercedes Benz.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tGuJ34062s

But poor Janis Joplin, she could enjoy in it; but she does not know how to enjoy in all this stuff. Actually she prefers to kill herself slow day by day. Some people literally do not know how to enjoy in life, either to run it in common sense. They love it to be martyrs’ like my mother: oh how much she enjoyed this role. Or some wife’s each day bitten by the husbands..? Or some people who are depend on alcohol; while he is sinking his liver in ethyl he is sinking all his life like some boat just torpedoed by German SS Submarine. Question is here:” who is there real enemy for your existence?” either their existence? Who is provoking self-destruction for such behaviour..?In some circumstances, maybe I could understand behaviour of Caravaggio who has been the lot of miles away from his era...I could understand Beethoven who has lost his sense of hearing what is really miss fortune for one musician as he has been. The first one who has been in depend from aristocracy, court and stupid indolent rich people; who use and abuse art just for their pleasure.

But post modern men as human being depends of opinion of majority.We have several rules.

Woman should be young, beautiful, and slim vice versus man/male should be something like employed in some system with good incomes, he should also to be slim with good musculature, large space for several moorages.And for the opinion of majority this is so good married couple. He is working on some Bank and she is by home locking on plants and on kid’s if they have it. Nevertheless...MORE OVER for each time society have some rules. If you not respect such and such rules you would be called as weird man, poor man, crazy, lunatic...More over the lunacy is some kind sort of post modern living because of pressure. The major point is for this society the question about:” SANE EITHER INSANE” like in Kierkegaard books either/or. Locking from the corner all of us try it to have one fine face or performance for our neighbours, colleagues, families. As group we have common ideas, common rules by priority of utility not humanity, because if you are acting as caring and good person somebody would say that you are fool. Standards’ are doubled; for one this and for another thing this one standard but major standard is utility.  For each person or event we have our own mask..double..personality whcih one days becomes reality..

Utility makes of us monkeys, puppets in modern theatre, arenas...while the major actor speaking:”I am the Gladiator”

IDIOT IN MODERN SENSE..BUT HIS INVOICE WITH SUCH ROLES IS HUGE..

...What is sad you should be gladiator if you would like to survive.There is conditional word “could“. Life is not some MOVIE shoot by HBO either in Disneyland post modern production. If you are not real gladiator you would be one day patient of some asylum created by sick minds, by Great Manipulator..

WHO IS ACTUALLY JOB...? SAYS JUNG

Answer to Job

The book of Job is landmark  the long historical development of a divine drama. At the time when book was written, there already were already many testimonials which had given a contradictory picture of Yahweh / the picture of God who knew no moderation in his emotions and suffered precisely from this lack of moderation.  He himself admitted that he was eaten up with rage and jealousy and that this knowledge was painful for him. Insight existed along with obtuseness, loving kindness along with cruelty , creative power along with desrtructiveness . Everything was there , and none of those qualities was an obstacle to to the other. God is amoral..Yeah, condition of this sort could be described as such..AMORAL..
How the people of modern ages are locking and felt about God..from the Old Testimony.
The BOOK OF JOB, serves as paradigm for certain experience of God which has special significance today.
Why we are suffer, from where it comes fier and trembling, why are children day or suffer from disease..as innocent beings..etc..
Sometimes such total  annihilation which comes of the infinite power of creation is present a front the  the  man who is crushed in the dust as Job. In spite of his pitiable litlleness and feebleness, this man knows that he is confronted with supernatural/ superhuman being  as Job knows;this man would ask..
Why..God?
Did God exist..

 What concerns me between all things it is future.What would be with my life, what is my purpose and this disconnection with real world. But future should arrive in its own good time, and I would have same mind which I am using to deal with present. So future is cause of my anxiety, as it was an unknown past or my real identity.

I have lost my dreams somewhere in the time scared because they are so far of reality. Maybe I have lost dreams and imagination because of fire, so if somebody asks me what my dream is; I would say: ‘’I have lost my dreams once up on the time in the land of the soreness.’ Time of soreness is my time almost three years. Time of joy and happiness are maybe having been linked with short moments in my life.

I have great hope that something would be happen, after all this fails, after all this soreness, which time of change has come. I have to believe into if I want to survive as human being, as res extensa et res cogitans.

HI PEOPLE FOLLOW ME I NEED YOUR ATTENTION...

JUST IN THIS SILENCE AND LUNACY I NEED YOUR ATTENTION..YOUR RESPONSE...ABOUT MY WORDS..AM I ON EDGE..JUST LIKE PERSONALITY FROM SHOOTER ISLAND OR ALISON IN THE WOOD'S..LOCKING FOR THE WHITE RABBIT..LISTENING THE CAT..

In majority cases we need response real human response as in situation when you lost or forget password for email web ask's you for proof :"ARE YOU HUMAN BEING"..Well I am human being still but would  be with If I got a chance for small sight on blue sky over me real blue..in sight..I hope so that my reasonable thinking is still in good shape beyond that my small brain cells are eaten in some portion during this all years of bloody work on philosophy of the masters.Did you know how much they could kill you..as Decart, Kant, or my fav..Kierkegaard..I'd have published book about his private Diaries..Amazing what a life, what a mind and what sort of lunacy..Nietzsche has been another type of philosopher..but NIXILIST... 

Kierkegaard..

He has been such type of man who has such strenght to told people what is he really meaning about society..what is real truth of such modern christian society..

In the moments of his deep depths failing he desperately need and lock for answer but all around crowd make from him monkey..Sad..But his is not just one in this poor and sick world..while the majority thought about themselves that they are healthy and wealthy..but they are not..If you told what did you really think they would cut your tongue or isolate in some asylum..From..the SANE SOCIETY..OR THE FAMOUS MICHAEL FOUCAULT ON THE PERPEDICULUM..

FOR SOMETIMES I AM SO SHORE THAT I AM SITING ON THE ELECTRIC CHAIR..WAITING FOR EXECUTION..

MY PAST NIGHT WAS LIKE NIGHT MARE..MY HEART STOOPED TO TIP..I HAVE FEEL IT..I HAVE BEEN IN ROOM WITHOUT AIR....SOMEBODY GIVE IT TO ME HAND. BELL GARE..SYLVIA PLATH..I AM BORN WHEN SHE HAS LOST HER LIFE..WHO IS GILT.?WHERE IS THE Q?NO BODY KNOWS..

GOOD BELIEVERS WOULD SAY GOOD IS JUDGE ..BUT DID THEY KNOW:"DID THIS GOD EXIST EITHER IS HE JUST EXPLANATION FOR ALL HUMAN STUPIDITY.."? 

Well on the end..sex and life..We are born on this world alone and each of us will die alone but in min time relationship is most important in life..human touch..We call this love, sex..either friendship..but we are only one space on earth which depend of this..Healthy body in healthy mind..Beyond I am not fun of post modern either modern major sex consumation..

Have a nice Sunday if you read this.... 

What is real meaning of word IDIOT..

EPILEPSIJA STANJE DUHA ILI NEUROLOŠKA BOLEŠTINA

Svi koji su želeli ili hteli da sebe prikažu kao Intelektualce na veliko I su tvrdili da su pročitali „Idiota“Dostojevskog. Da budem iskrena , meni je pošlo za rukom tek posle trećeg ili četvrtog pokušaja da ga iščitam do kraja. Glavni lik boluje od Epilepsije; a od nje su bolovali i Flober, Aleksandar Makedonski..etc..Bilo je mnogo više malo  common people..Današnja medicina , tj.neurologija ima sva sredtsva na raspolaganju od M.R. do skenera da bi otkrila zašto se dešavaju ta čudnovata električna pražnjenja, grčenje tela i u narodu tzv. „padavica“...Ali savremena medicina je u mom slučaju zakazala i u mom slučaju nema objašnjena zašto se to javlja s vremena na vreme. Na skeneru, eeg ili m.r. nema tragova; nema bioloških, fizioloških, prirodnih uslova koji ukazuju da je ta i ta tačka u mozgu aktivna, da je moždano tkivo degenerisano i da ja aposlutno ne bolujem od Epilepsije..ali zapadam u tzv. Epi status..

Prvi put je bilo na Novu Godinu 2010 a sad je 2012..; ponovili se dva put nakon selidbe..Svako zna kao je to seliti se..ali niko ne zna šta sam to sve ja preturila u proteklih desetak godina:Ratove, seobe, strahove i neizvesnosti, gubitak kompletne familije...Mnogo tog je prošlo a ja se i dalje pitam čemu ovo dalje kažnjavanje, da me hvata svaki put panika kad treba da izadjem napolje..čemu..To je kao biti ili ne biti..Ne znaš da li možeš sebe da kontrolišeš jer je to jedina bolest koja podmuklo dolazi i dešava se iznenada pri čemu psihijatri ili neurolozi to rešavaju konjskim dozama lekova.E pa ja ne želim da budem zombi, pa makar me i tramvaj zgazio..

Jednostavno, želim svoj život onakav kakav je..sa svim onim varijantama bašte ...botaničke sa svim mogućim biljkama i davdženjacima u njoj..ne želim da me drogiraju..i uništavaju mi ono malo od života što mi je ostalo. Kad dodje vreme; a ja neću čekati da mi priroda presudi odlučiću sama; kad ću da umrem..Imam ja petlju za to..To da je nešto sasvim drugo okidač u mom slučaju još od ranog detinjstva je sigurno..da sam schizoidna..verovatno da jesam..da mi je mozak pojeden usled golemog prepucavanja sa filozofima još iz antike pa do post moderne sa sve Dao De Dingom jeste..Pojede je i u prepucavanju sa mojom familijom..da pojeli su me kao što skakavci jedu letinu u Africi; ali ja sam to sama sebi dozvolila. E zato ne mogu da plačem niti na grob da im odem jer sam ja jedan panj..

Kad se osvrnem unazad prvi znakovi ludila su se pokazali nakon četredeste godine..Uništavanje skupocenih slika, jedenje žvakanje knjiga, urlikanje..Ranije sam bila plašljiva onda je ta plašljivost prešla u agresivnost..Jedino što me uopšte nije nikad zanimalo to je bio sex i novac..Sad posle kome za tu Novu Godinu ja hoću da živim u ovom svom autističnom svetu.., jer malo je falilo da se sretnem sa Bogovima ili Demonima, ako ih ima..

To be continued..jer još nismo u stanju raspadanja duha, cepanja duše, totalne nihilazicije stvarnosti..Još nam je ostalo vremena, meni i onoj koja je u meni..Nikog ne optužujem od svojih..sama sam odgovorna..i biću odgovorna..ako ..onda..